We really have been going through some stressful times as I'm sure everyone else is. I've remained optimistic up until this morning when we got our Power Bill for $233. Yeah, that's right $233. Supposedly work for Jacob is going to pick up mid January but we've been hearing that it's going to pick up for the last 2 months.
I'm officially signed up and on the Kennewick School District payroll but the next time sheet is due on the 9th of January and then the paycheck won't come until January 30th. I signed up to be a school teacher for prek-12th just so I made sure I would have work but I really don't want to jump back into teaching in a High School classroom.
We have hospital bills we are paying off still from Emma's little fever of 104 back in June (hospitals are money hungry). So far we have paid $500 and we still have $150 left. Normally these bills wouldn't be a big deal but right now they are the last thing I want to see.
We still have family that we need to buy Christmas presents for. I don't think Emma will be getting anything from us this year, but that's why we have other family so they can spoil her.
I'm struggling with keeping myself positive right now. I can feel myself torn between the two sides. On one hand things look pretty bad and crappy right now and I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. On the other hand I know that if we try our best to take care of ourselves that the Lord will provide for us and everything will be okay.
I am ashamed to admit that I'm not totally feeling the whole faith thing right now. We've been so fortunate to never have a situation like this and I've taken it for granted. For now I will be continuing to pray and should probably go to the temple (if I can get my dress on... my belly is a little bit big right now and I'm not even half way there). We will continue to pay our tithing and do the things we are suppose to do. We are told that we need to "experiment" on the words of Christ and see if he will not keep His promises. He hasn't let me down yet but he sure is dragging me through some deep doo doo that I don't particularly like.
I'm looking forward to the day when hard times are brought in front of us and I will have no doubt that it will be okay. I hope you are all doing well and that you will keep the true meaning of this holiday season in perspective. I love this time of year because people are so supportive and giving. I hope that someday we will live like it's Christmas all year.
2 comments:
hang in there! you'll be through it you know it, I know it's so hard to keep that in perspective when you're in the midst of your troubles, but you will grow from this experience. Try getting creative with presents if you can- some of the best gifts I've given have been less than $10, but with a little alteration and a little work they were great gifts!! call me if you need some ideas :)
Thank you for writing what you did Jen, it was what I needed to hear right now. I have been going through some hard times, and feel so confused and frustrated, I have need doing a good job of staying positive up until a few days ago. Now all I want to do is cry. So thank you, you never know what you say may help someone else out months latter.
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